Parkinson’s: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection.

Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.

~ Michael J. Fox


I love the irony. I’m perceived as being really young

and yet I have the clinical condition of an old man.

~ Michael J. Fox




I have received quite a few inquiries over the past two months regarding Parkinson’s Dis-ease and what corresponding lessons are involved with such a diagnosis. As with any lesson and corresponding dis-ease state, it is important to look at what it restricts you from doing and what it pushes you into doing differently in your life.

Chronic dis-eases are rather complicated and can be regarded as karmic lessons rather than lessons brought on by you in order to “course correct” and get you on the path you set out as your life goals. Often I can look at a numerology chart and that will help me understand if there are karmic lessons involved. Sometimes those lessons are not yours to learn, sometimes you have contracted to teach and Parkinson’s can be quite a teacher.

Many are familiar with the most popular activist for Parkinson’s: Michael J. Fox and we have had the wonderful opportunity to watch how he has taken his dis-ease and used it to teach the world about integrity and optimism. He has even established a Foundation for Parkinson’s Research and not surprisingly, his foundation has become the most credible voice on research for Parkinson’s.

Parkinson’s Disease (PD) is a slowly progressing neurological disease of the central nervous system, with disorders in gait, posture and movement coordination. Men are more often affected than women and the onset averages around the age of 60 and I know from personal experience that it is often misdiagnosed. We did not realize my father was learning from PD until after his death. It has a high misdiagnosis rate.

Neurons do not fire properly, so the signals are not transmitted properly to allow for proper coordination of movement. So there is a conflict between what you want to do and your body actually doing it. Symptoms include slow movement, muscular rigidity, resting tremor and postural instability. Handwriting become indecipherable, facial expression may become set, the head inclined forward, words become muffled and the voice hollow, dull and increasingly feeble. It is common for those learning from Parkinson’s to fall backward.

Because of the pioneers like Michael J Fox, and let’s not forget Muhammad Ali, also diagnosed with Parkinson’s, there is more attention being brought to symptoms that are not so visible, such as sleep difficulties, mood disorders, even the loss of sense of smell, constipation, and low blood pressure as well as other challenges. What these reflect in reality is the “inner conflict” that is taking place, because all of these non-motor related are related! One interesting thing to note is that there is no standard in symptoms, one patient will manifest a set of symptoms that another will not. Of course, I look at each symptom a message, a message that cascades from one to another until we come up with an answer.

Where do the symptoms first manifest or are first noticeable? That is often the clue to what lessons are involved with a particular dis-ease. There is no definitive test for PD and there are other neurological conditions that compete with a PD diagnosis, and this is one reason why the misdiagnosis rate is so high. Doctors often look for two or more significant signs of PD before they venture a supposition, and then if one responds to PD medication they assume it is PD.

Resting tremors, usually on one side of the body combined with balance issues or rigidity are the first signs. But tremors in the hands or arms could be “Essential” or “Familial”  tremors, which my mother experiences, making it difficult to write or sometimes to eat due to the tremors.

On a metaphysical level, I look at the tremors being a significant message, and these most often occur in the hands, or at least this is where they are first noticed. So looking at what the hands represent in the body/mind connection is our first clue. Hands will tremble due to conflicting messages between your conscious mind and your subconscious mind. It is my belief that it is the conflict that creates the tremors and the imbalance. This conflict involves being unable to hold on to something or someone or letting go of something or someone. The answer of course would be in whether the issue is manifested in the left hand/side first (allowing and holding on) or the right hand/side (holding on and releasing).

This is why often the symptoms are first exhibited in the hands. Hands and arms are extension of our heart center and involve our relationships with ourself, God, and others that we love. When there is conflict due to holding back or giving up our emotions and our sensitivity and vulnerability there creates this conflict, this “push me-pull you” imbalance. Keeping fears and anxieties to oneself, can feed this conflict and create indecision or uncertainty when a situation manifests that you cannot control (“hold on to”).

Trying to remain control of everything around you can create such a conflict when you don’t share your concerns, particularly if you are in a field or profession where control is an issue. That can be due to you having little or no control but you want people to think you do, OR you are in a profession that demands control and you struggle within those constraints. Eventually you reach your limits and you overload your nervous system from the inner tension that you have hidden for so many years.

I would like to conduct my own personal study, it would be interesting to document how many individuals learning from Parkinson’s are perfectionists? They are self-critical and hold back so much of their humanness so that they communicate to the world that they are still in control of all aspects of their lives? One lesson to learn from Parkinson’s is found in my often used phrase, “the only way to gain control is to let go” and in reality you will realize that it isn’t about control, it is about managing your energy!

What is self-control? It is one thing when associated with perfection, and another thing when it is associated with making appropriate decisions about your life based on the information you have before you. Parkinson’s is allowing you to be human and to move forward in life as a human blemishes and all.

If you are learning from Parkinson’s or know someone that is learning/teaching take a moment to identify where the conflicts reside regarding how you relate to your world and those who reside in that world. Tremors and balance issues are about conflicting messages, received and sent, tremors are the inner fight you are having with yourself, and this throws you off balance. The nerves that are not transmitting properly are about energy, and thought is energy, so looking at where your thoughts are focused and what concerns you have about your place in the world can either help or hinder your recovery.

Are you in a career or a position that requires perfection? Balance? Control? Then there is a message there that you need to reevaluate where you are going, or at least how you approach  your career, your relationships, your life. Moving forward can be disturbing for some, particularly when you don’t have specific defined goals. Look at what needs to be redefined in your life, it may be that you just need to shift the way you look at your life, rather than your life in general.

Blessings to you! Enjoy the wonderful summer. Catherine

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